Some brief thoughts on the music industry
1. Music will be free. The music industry is in a transitional period right now. Record companies are scrambling amidst crumbling sales due to music piracy. Execs that were too slow and short sighted to embrace the digital/internet age are now trying to catch up and find a way to make money on the formats people actually use (mp3!). Lawsuits, strict DRM, etc. are being imposed to try to stop piracy. Guess what? IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. However you feel about media piracy, it's here to stay forever and nothing can stop it. These copy protection techniques only hurt legit purchasers of music. I bought a song on Itunes a couple of years ago and was forced to burn a cd with the song and use other software then rip it back into mp3 just to put it on my mp3 player. It would have been less expensive and much more convenient to just steal the song off the internet to begin with! By making it difficult for honest buyers to use their media, they are effectively PUSHING people into piracy!
What I am saying though is: record companies are doomed. It's over guys! You can delay the inevitable - but in the information age, turning a profit by effectively being an overglorified, greedy, bloated middle man is no longer viable! As long as the internet is a free and neutral place (hopefully forever...), media will be transmitted over it, and the situation will only get worse (better!) as the internet gets faster with newer technology. You can't stop it. Stop trying. There are a lot of honest people out there that don't feel right pirating music and want to pay for it! Reward them by giving them high quality digital distributions that are easy to use. Stop making it like pulling teeth to download and use music and quit charging unreasonable prices for mp3 downloads. Charging 10 dollars may seem reasonable compared to the cost of a CD but there is only a small cost for the bandwidth compared to the cost of producing a cd/insert book/case then distributing it to a store. Providing easy methods for finding/downloading high quality unprotected music files for low prices will encourage people to pay for the music they listen to.
That will help short term, but eventually all digital media will be free and no one can stop it. Remember when people actually purchased digital encyclopedias on CD?
2. Anyone can make music. What does this mean for artists and listeners? I am not sure. I think that artists will still be able to make a good living, but I think it's going to be a much more wide open playing field... Like with the invention of the printing press, the internet has broadened who gets to listen to music AND who gets to produce it. Musicians will no longer be in a position where some fat cat in a suit gets to decide if they are profitable in order to get an album made and released. With digital software and the internet, anyone with a guitar and the inclination can produce songs for the public. I dont believe we have an efficient source to get this music out there yet (youtube?) but someone smart will come up with something and there will be a TON of new great music to listen to. The countereffect to the internet giving everyone an oppurtunity means there is also a lot of terrible amateur stuff out there to filter through to find the good stuff. That will be part of the process and evolution of music on the web...
3. What about albums? I've been thinking about this... How many times have you purchased an album for one great song and ended up finding a ton of songs you liked as much or more? That is one of the great things about albums. I have so many memories that are tied to the albums I was listening to during that specific period of my life. Will this go away? What about The Wall and other concept albums that work much better as a whole rather than taking the individual songs? I have two thoughts on this, the first is: I think, for better or for worse, albums will become like books. They will still have their niche with people who enjoy a deeper richer experience, but in general singles will rule. In many ways (with radio play and mp3's) they already do. Albums will still be produced by people who want to express themselves in that format, but people who just want to release catchy pop songs (Katy Perry!) will just do that... My second thought is this: the idea of having songs collected on an album has only existed for a small fraction of the existence of music. Before the 1800's, music existed as individual songs. There was no artificial groupings like an album because people just played music to live audiences. Songs weren't written as collections, just individual pieces, written down, altered, played to the individual/audiences taste and style. Maybe the internet age is restoring the natural order of music on Earth.
Nothing Ever Ends
Basically I had a whole lot of fluff to fill the entry up and make it seem like thought or effort was put into it. Then I thought, why bother? So without justification or expressed reason, here are the 5 things I know for ABSOLUTE SURE* about myself.
5. I will never eat a turtle. It just will never ever happen. I watched a show on the food network or something where this dude eats exotic foods. Last night he ate aged fertilized duck eggs...basically a rotten hard boiled egg with a soft duck embryo inside. It was the least appetizing thing I've ever seen, it was really disgusting. If someone held a gun to my head and told me I had to either eat the egg or a turtle, I would take my chances with the bullet. I will never eat a turtle.
4. If for some reason I ever get into a fight with a vampire, I will win. It doesnt matter what sort of mythology it originates from, what ridiculous magic the vampire has, how immortal and supremely powerful it is, etc. Send more than one, send a hundred, send them ALL! It won't matter, I will slay them!
3. Someday I will chop down a cherry tree. I cannot resist it. It is my destiny.
2. The only thing stopping me from having a massively awesome awe inspiring beard is my girlfriend. and possibly the ostrasization from society that might develop.
1. There is something missing in my life. Until I find it, I will be incomplete and unable to reach my full potential creatively, artistically, and philosophically. It is probably the driving force of my life... a treasure hunt for an unknown treasure. I hope to find it someday, but a voice in my head repeats, "what you seek you shall never find"
*by "absolutely sure" I of course include leave that percentage to 99.9999999999999999999999999999 ... nihilism is the unavoidable conclusion of rational thought. So from now one when I say I am absolutely positively sure, it is not clever or funny to say "but you don't believe in anything!" I am well aware of and stand behind the fact that I don't believe that anything can be proven true or untrue and thus may be rendered meaningless, so when I say a general statement like i am positive something is true or untrue or that I believe something, or think something... this asterix is built into anything I say.
My Top 5 Celebrity Women (2nd Annual).
Last year with Vince's help I compiled a list of my top 5 favorite celebrities, but my fickle tastes and perceptions have changed so its time to update that list. So, without further ado...
5. Beverly Crusher from ST: TNG
What am I supposed to say here? I realize this will be an unpopular pick that will likely earn abundant mocking from my friends and peers. No one thinks she's attractive, barely anyone likes Star Trek and even those that do think her character is lame and boring. Hell, I ADMIT her character is kind of lame and boring - but still, I can't resist. I don't know why, but I love her. I loved her when I was 11 and I love her now. I don't care if she's 70 years old, she is hot.
4. Nastia Liukins
Hmm, obsessive, cold blooded olympic gymnast, what's not to like?. Honestly I don't think she's that "pretty" but I love that look on her face that she has all the time. You know, the one that says, "I'm going to kill every bitch here in a vicious and excruciating way if I don't win." If I married her I would be in constant fear that she would butcher me alive for some small mistake I did that no one else would have even noticed. I am not sure what this says about me that I am attracted to this sort of thing but regardless, she is an easy choice here at #4.
3. Pam from The Office
I realize outside of The Office she is much more stereotypically attractive, especially all dolled up for the red carpet or whatnot (wtf?) but I really just like her on the show. She's basically the super sweet fun partner in crime we all need to survive in a work type environment. I actually much prefer her dressed down for the show than dressed up. That's how I roll.
2. Zooey Deschanel
She is so effin' cute its ridiculous. I have always really liked her but lately Misty has been into this band called "She and Him" which is an ok band, I like them, but I really really really like their music video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in1zBu448bQ She is so adorable in it and basically I like her voice and think she is awesome and spiffy and funny on interviews with David Letterman. Also, a bonus for me is that I would call her "ZOO - EY" endlessly which would be really annoying and likely drive her to violence against me. So yeah, easy #2 and could have easily been #1 except I have so much loyalty and love for:
1. Emily Haines from Metric
Yes, I realize she's not viewed as generically super hot and that she wears those stupid big sunglasses sometimes, but Emily Haines is #1 for me. I love her as a musician, I love her haunting pop song writing, I love her awesome beautiful voice and her completely nonsensical lyrics. Emily Haines, you rock my socks and I don't care if no one else agrees, you're #1 in my book!
Dropped off the list:
Elisha Cuthbert - super hot but that is not enough to stay on this list
Katie Sakoff - I guess I was more into her character (Starbuck from BSG) than I am actually into her. Her character was like rugged bad ass chick who was vulnerable but heroic - WAS that is, because now they converted her into a returning from the dead prophet of some nonsense. Guess what? I don't care. Thanks BSG writers for ruining the best character on the show.
Rachel Ray - She lost some weight, killed it for me. She's a chef, she loves food, she's supposed to have some meat on her bones. I have a feeling someone told her that her ratings would go up if she cut down on the carbs.
Ginger Spice - I still think she is cute but really it was Vince that convinced me to include her. Guess what though, he's not here!
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Above all things, I want to be better than what I am.
Occasionally things happen that seem unfair or unjust. Regardless of the justification of those feelings, it is my belief that the ONLY resolution is to let it go. Maybe I am right to be angry or bitter, maybe I didn't exactly deserve what happened, however, that is of no consequence. What has happened is over and done with and all I can do is try to find something to learn from in what happened and grow as a person. Occasionally there is nothing to learn - maybe the situation was just a raw deal - the challenge then is to let go of the unhappiness the situation has caused and not allow myself to become bitter or broken. Perhaps this is the coward's way out. I have pondered long and hard about that. Letting things go doesn't really show the people who have done you wrong that their actions weren't just, in fact, perhaps it encourages their behavior. My only response to that is that if they do not regret their actions or learn from the mistakes they have made, I pity them. It is to their misfortune that they do not become better people when they error, that they continue to act in petty, rash or unreasonable ways. I cannot force them to be introspective or to reflect on what they've done, it is something they must do on their own. I can only control my own actions, my own emotions and my own responses. I try my hardest to turn the other cheek. When the end comes, I want to look back at my actions without resentment or regret.
So I exhale, and let it all go...
That said...
I make a lot of mistakes.
I have a lot of weaknesses.
If I had to narrow it down to my biggest weaknesses, they would be this:
1) I have a pretentious sense of arrogance. I try to look at every side of every situation I am in with an open minded, weigh the factors involved and then make a decision. When I have made the decision, unless there is compelling evidence in an alternate direction, I am very stubborn and resolved in the belief that I am, without a doubt, correct. There are two side-effects to this: I can be a jerk occasionally and because I put so much weight into my own opinions, I do not make them lightly. I am often indecisive or play the devil's advocate role when there is no clear "right" path.
Another aspect of my arrogance is that I believe that I will be successful at everything I apply myself towards. This perhaps gives me an unearned sense of entitlement. Despite my strongest attempts to take full responsibility for my actions and their consequences, I often blame failures on external conditions.
2) My sense of what is morally acceptable is fluid. I believe that if a crime is victimless, it is not wrong. I have a sense of humor that finds humor in grossly inappropriate things which causes me to unintentionally offend people I like and respect. In fact, this is a weakness all in and of itself. I place a disproportionate amount of value on off beat jokes sometimes I only get. Furthermore, I have contradicting mores; I hold loyalty in high regard despite feeling that it is philosophically counter to the nature of the universe. In fact, what I feel and what I believe are often very different things.
3) I am paralyzed by my hesitations. Because I focus so hard on doing the right or correct thing, or perhaps because what I feel and what I believe are contradictory, I often do not act. Perhaps this can be attributed to cowardice and I am just trying to spin it into being justified, but many times I cannot throw myself into something because I am unsure what I want or how I truly feel. How can I dedicate myself to something I do not fully believe in.
4) My own nature is especially elusive to me. I do not understand my motives, reason often defies my beliefs, and my mind and soul often contradict one another.
That is all.
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Time for Breakfast.
I woke up this morning and wanted cereal for breakfast. To my dismay there were no clean cups and I pondered the situation for a moment and then I remembered something: Regular human beings use BOWLS for cereal! We have a lot of clean bowls...I thought about it for about 10 seconds then just washed a cup.
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Ninjas vs. Pirates: A look without irony or humor applied.
Like every debate, important or absurd, both sides, ninjas and pirates, have valid arguments to support their superiority.
Ninjas
Ninjas - as pop culture defines them - are master assassins who can move silently and strike at their foes with deadly precision. Ninjas are definitely a bad ass arch-type so it is easy to see why people hold them in such high esteem.
1) I was a martial artist when I was a teenager. I studied at a very good dojo under a master of shaolin chuan fa, Sensai Bill, who was an incredible fighter and a work out fiend. I studied 3 times a week (two group lessons, 1 private lesson) at the studio and practiced at home for years. While I was was never the most skilled, my strength/ferociousness enabled me to be a good fighter and a tournament champion. I never was elite. I never earned a black belt. What I am trying to say is this: I am a smart person. At one time, I was a dedicated and hard working student. I had the time, energy and physical talent to put years of my life into honing my martial arts abilities, However, I was not a ninja. The dedication I put in wasn't enough. It takes more than intelligence and discipline and physical prowess, it takes sacrifice. To become a ninja, you must spend decades practicing and perfecting your skills and talents at the expense of all else.
2) By choosing the lifestyle of a ninja, you have chosen to be on edge all the time. Remember, as a ninja your main enemies are other ninjas. This means at any time you could be attacked from the shadows, you must constantly be on guard. No place is safe, no one is harmless, the life of a ninja is very dangerous. Sure this sounds awesome but what about smoking cigars and drinking white russians? What about kicking it with your homies and relaxing? What about going on dates with your girlfriend? It wouldn't be fun to be so high strung all the time.
3) To be a ninja is to live a life of servitude, to your body, your skills, and to a master. Your actions are the extensions of someone else's will, not your own. Sure there are vagabonds that serve no master but those aren't really ninjas, they are just wandering swordsmen.
Pirates
Pirates - as pop culture defines them - are sailors who travel the seas drinking and marauding, looting and pillaging. The appeal to this is obvious.
1) Your skill as a fighter is limited to experience and maybe a little training and practice with your crew mates. In a fair sword fight, a ninja would win every time. However, pirates are at sea so if ninjas want to attack them they have to sneak on board. Also, pirates have something - GUNS.
I have my own philosophy which I will share with you here:
"If you're going to shoot, shoot. Don't talk" - Tuco
what this means is this: if there's going to be a fight, take the first strike and finish it quickly. The first key to eric-fu is that you have to find an opportunity to get the initiative and attack, whether this comes from luck, keen observation or mad skillz is up to your own personal attributes. Take the first punch and don't give the other person a chance.
"Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth" - Mike Tyson
Everyone has an idea of what they are going to do, a plan. The key is to disrupt their plan and make them recover on the fly - this will force them into quick decisions and mistakes they wouldn't make if they had a chance to sit down and think. By applying the Tuco principle, you already have knocked them off their game so the tyson effect can take place, the two elements work together. Mess them up and they will make their mistakes, exploit those mistakes.
"Opportunities multiply as they are seized" - Sun Tzu
When your opening comes up, TAKE IT. My boy Bruce Lee says: flow like water, without hesitation. Once your opportunity comes, pounce on it, this will open up further opportunities for you to also pounce on until eventually you are victorious.
These can be applied to everything, not just combat. However since combat is what we're talking about here, let's summarize... You can come out ahead in any situation. You just have to pick your spots, choose your battles wisely, position yourself so that you are able to maximize your strengths and minimize your weaknesses. Then, when the time is right, strike without mercy and don't relent until you've won. Anyone can do this, ninjas, pirates, etc. So basically I feel the COMBAT aspect of this debate is superfluous. A good pirate would shoot the ninja at the right time and it'd be all over. A good ninja would strike when the pirate is not ready and the battle would be over equally as quickly.
2) As a pirate, you spend a lot of time on board a ship sailing around. You will find all sorts of adventure and build comradery with your fellow pirates, you will probably get drunk often and sing sea shanty's, basically good times. As a pirate, you are free. You are free to wander the seas and explore the world and make it with wenches if you are so inclined. You aren't held to a rigid code of conduct, and you have nothing but yourself to answer to. Personally, I don't like being told what to do...
Summary
I guess the debate comes down to what style appeals to you, or whether the pirates and ninjas are going to fight each other or if you're going to become one.
Ninjas have discipline and dedication that is to be admired. That said, I would not want to be one, too much work, not enough freedom. They have excellent combat skills that can be utilized if you EMPLOY ninjas though, so I highly recommend having a cadre of shadow masters at your beck and call. Or maybe just one really good one that is bound to you as your sidekick.
Pirates aren't as good of fighters, but you'll be kicking it with your comrades on a boat going on adventures, drinking ale and treasure hunting. If you have intelligence and guts and the right machismo, you can even be the captain and have the respect and admiration of your fellows. This sounds about as good as it gets to me, so I'll go with pirates.
CLICK HERE MISTY'S VITALLY IMPORTANT REBUTTAL
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Oh Rosie, what will you do next?
(the second weirdest Rosie dream I've ever had)
Last night I had a dream that I was a party.
Rosie O'Donnell and that old lady (Barbara Walters?) from "The View" were there and everyone was having a good time.
Then Rosie said, "I have a magic trick everyone! I've been practicing, you'll really like it."
Then she got a large box and put Barbara in, all the while grinning like a loon.
She closed the box and put a blanket over top of it, then she waved her hands and *poof*
The box collapses, Barbara is gone! Everyone cheers, while Rosie beams at her accomplishment.
Then she turns and looks directly at me.
And in my mind's eye I see it: Barbara Walters, floating in the void of oblivion for the rest of eternity.
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Sometimes - I am astounded by my own genius.
I almost can't even take credit for this one.
I awoke this morning and it was like a little present neatly wrapped up and given to me by the nihilist gods. In the spirit of giving, I present the idea to you in all of its glory - free of charge.
If I had to guess at the process that was involved with the creation of this idea, I have to think that it started off with my mind trying to invent a better mouse trap and ended with it inventing a better ring box.
How it works:
Step 1: Present the ring to her.
Step 2: She weepingly accepts and opens the box. Unbeknowst to her, she has just activated the trap.
Step 3: As she attempts to take the ring, the trap is sprung. Anger, violence, anarchy, female wrath ensues.
Success!
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A retraction and... American Idol?
I want to apologize for my previous post. While I am, for all intents and purposes, "in bed" with the Goat/Robot ticket - I would like to retract the part about me killing people and eating them. That is a grotesque and morbid overstatement. Also, I did not vote for Bush as I obnoxiously stated. I will not tell you who I voted for in the last election but lets just say his name rhymes with "Redbox Furlong."
I have no doubt in my mind a goat and a robot is the best possible combination for President and VP. Goats can eat cans and they have beards, right? They also can navigate the treacherous terrain of rocky mountain sides. These are important traits for our future leader. Robots are creatures of pure logic and a grim hatred for organic life. That will make for fun sessions at congress.
The other part of the previous post I'd like to retract is the part where I vowed an oath of vengeance against metaphors. A metaphor is a phrase and not really worthy of my wrath. As long as they stay out of my way, I can tolerate them. FOR NOW. That goes to you too, similes.
Now, onto American Idol:
Alaina is my girl.
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Real political beliefs
When i said i was going to vote for Mr. Bush for a 3rd term, i was being obnoxious and ridiculous. I apologize. It should be more than obvious that I would never ever vote for Bush after I made that mistake in 2000 and again in 2004. I believe in democracy. I believe in the voting process. I believe in FREEDOM. Unfortunately, the days of George Washington walking to his inaguration in order to show that he was a "common" man is over though. The political climate of this day and age is too volatile and the likelyhood of an unfortunate assassination if he walked from anywhere to anywhere is apx a 75% chance, depending on the will of the assassin and his aim.
So lets get down to brass tacks (or tax, i dont know. I apologize in advance for my ignorance.) George Bush is out of the question, so we have who? Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and Mccain and maybe Ron Paul. After much careful thought and deliberation I believe that what is simulateously the best and worst feature of our government is that no one in power has enough power to change things drastically. The laws the government makes and the changes the government makes are inherently slow and strenuous. No grandiouse changes can be made. Instead, changes in our system are slow and incremental - which means that voting for Barack or Hillary doesn't mean all of their plans and agendas will be implemented, some might and many will be lost to the grinding gears of the republic system. Likewise, voting for a republican candidate will also lead to little to no results. That is how things work.
Therefore, I officially throw my hat into the only candidate that makes any real logical sense:
A goat and a robot VP.
basically goats eat stuff. Also it is said that the president is the face of the government but the VP really provides the nuts and bolts. having a robot VP means there would literally be nuts and bolts involved and I am a HUGE fan of things that are "metaphors" being changed into things actually being true. Like, when someone says "i'll rock you like a hurricane" I want them to literally mean they will throw them around and blow on them until the die. Metaphors are stupid and from now to the end of time I declare them my enemy. Metaphors are basically ways to complicate communication. I, too, am guilty of using metaphors to act like a pretentious fool and for this I apologize. But I digress, goat and robot for president in 08. when i am a little more sober tomorrow I will make the sticker. if you don't write in "goat" with "robot" as VP in the next election I will hunt you down like a wild animal and eat you alive. If you have read this entire paragraph, you will know I do not mean that metaphorically I will be unhappy with you, I mean literally that I will eat you, I am forced to because of my OATH of vengeance against metaphors. I don't consider this cannibalism because we are different, you and I. We are too different to be considered the same species.
The End.
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Personal ads are basically totally awesome
I saw this ad:
Pretty and level headed seeking man to match wits and develop a friendship with that leads to sultry evenings or afternoons.
Likes: left leaning, intelligence, conversation, curiousity, creativity, financial security.
Dislikes: smoking, heavy drinking, quickies and whiners.
I am safe, discreet and looking for a quality person between 35-45.
My response:
Rarely in our lives do we have the opportunity to meet someone who seems "perfect" for us but I believe you and I have happened upon just such an occasion.
What makes us perfect for one another?
- I am 40 years old, precisely between 35-45
- I am a former spy - discretion is my game.
- I was heavily mutilated and castrated in a foreign prison, so have no fear about "quickies".
- I am very intelligent and creative, also I am rich
- due to the aforementioned incident, my right leg is apx 2 inches longer than my left leg which causes me to lean to the left side when I stand still.
- I have always felt skull deformities were a huge turn on. My ex-wife was a native american whose skull was misshapen due to being carried via papoose in her childhood, you being "level-headed" is very very attractive to me. No need to be self-conscious and I appreciate your honesty about your birth defect.
Thank you very much for your attention and I look forward to meeting you soon.
ItzaGasCan - A product review
Misty ran out of gas today and so Josh (OD) and I had to go rescue her. On our way to her car, we stopped at a gas station to get a gas can so we could get her car started. The first place we went to was the new Mega-BP Station, newly built with a full convenience store and dairy bar inside. Of course, while they sold everything from fresh donuts to gormet cheese to imported beer, they didn't sell gas cans - so we had to continue our quest, lest we be trod upon.
We arrived at the Get-Go station and did not see them there either but I thought I would be obnoxious and ask anyways.
"Oh sure..." the attendent said, without even a subtle hint in his voice to foreshadow our unavoidable fate, "we don't have regular gas cans, but we have THESE."
and then we saw it...
a flattened cardboard box...
surely this could not be what he was indicating towards, right?
Wrong!
From the mind of some sadistic genius hidden in his lair deep in the bowels of the earth comes "ItzaGasCan - Single Use Gas Can" - something so horrifically misnamed that it shocks and dismays even my undelicate sense of decency. Let me describe this monstrosity further: it is functionally a thin plastic bladder shelled within a cardboard box you have to RIP to assemble with a strange plastic tube sticking out for use in filling up the gas tank (with nothing holding the tube in the bladder but the will of God and, eventually, my fingers).
What I am saying is, despite the name, it is definitely NOT a gas can.
It is more like a gas plastic bag, anything would work better. A milk jug would be more functional. Honestly cupping my hands would probably work just as well. They had the audacity to charge $5.85 for this, which basically meant that they figured if people were desperate enough to fill a cardboard box up with gasoline, they were desperate enough to pay some ridiculous amount of money for this garbage.
We "filled" our "gas can" and drove away. The side of the case said it held "1 gallon". In practice, it was more like .30 gallons. The little bladder refused to expand more and burped gasoline on me.
We drove away to find Misty, the fumes making us dizzy - would we survive the trip? We rolled down the windows and continued bravely.
and, like most stories, this ends anti-climatically. The .30 gallon of gas was sufficient to get her to the station. Despite our hatred and disbelief at the existence of "itzagascan" it served its purpose well. If anything, in order to be honest I can't really not recommend it in a pinch.
Final Verdict
Pros: It sort of holds gasoline
Cons: it spills gasoline everywhere, it looks ridiculous, it clearly is not a gas can, it's overpriced, it holds 1/3rd of what it claims.
Overall: C+
My Official Political Stance
Eric: 1 more term!
Eric: or 2, if we still need him
Eric: lets get american flag t-shirts and wear them unironically
Eric: who are we to resist?
Eric: the world is a much bigger place than either of us and there are people much smarter and much wiser that are baffled themselves, our only chance for survival is to blend in and hope no one notices
Peter: haha
Peter: yeah
Peter: it's crazy
Eric: pre-emptive surrender doesn't only make sense, it is likely our only hope
Peter: ok
Peter: you've sold me
Peter: Bush O8
Eric: i bet they sell the stickers online
Peter: haha
Eric: im looking
Eric: the shirts are expensive
Peter: haha
Peter: we can silkscreen them ourselves
Peter: it's cheap
Letter to Management
Although it is noble and admirable that you maintain a sense of duty to cleanliness and to the maintaining of a sanitary and healthy work environment for all employees, I unfortunately feel that you have unfairly indicted myself and my workspace as a repeat offender and culprit. In truth, my tendency is as follows: I have but a single cup that I clean out nightly and hide behind my monitors so I do not have to repurchase a new cup daily. The reason for this is three fold – one, I do not like to spend money unnecessarily and having a clean and sanitary drinking vessel stashed for my personal use saves me up to seven dollars a week. Two, by saving my cup - I am recycling. This is something that in our societal climate of wastefulness is something I consider a worthy endeavor. The third and most important reason for saving my cup is that it is very convenient for me to simply refill it with water from the fountain every time I am thirsty instead of walking all the way to the cafe and buying a soda. This ensures more productivity. Furthermore, convenience aside, drinking water as opposed to what amounts to liquid sugar is better for my health. Without having a cup or other suitable drinking apparatus at my immediate disposal, drinking water is impossible. I completely realize there are sometimes other people's cups that may have been carelessly left on desks around the office but my cup is not one of those that has merely been forgotten. I also acknowledge that occasionally I forget to stash my cup and for that, I am truly sorry.
I appreciate and respect your wish for a clean office and do my best to accommodate that wish by trying to keep my work area clean for other people who might use my computer. However, I cannot be responsible for the entire office or other people's actions or misgivings that may give the impression that I am being untidy, and it is unfortunate, in my opinion, that the blame is being placed even idly on me. However, in good faith I will be diligent in my efforts to improve on my personal tidiness and will double check nightly that everything is in order before I leave.
Thank you for your time and effort in this situation. I assume that we are both now on the same page and that we both will find whatever lingering issues that arose during this are now fully resolved. I strive to keep a good working relationship with all of my co-workers and supervisors and I truly appreciate that you brought this matter to my attention instead of letting it fester into a problem. I also hope that all is well with you and look forward to the next time I see you.
Sincerely and with best wishes,
Eric Drewes
an adendum
In our last correspondence I made an egregious error that could possibly portray the situation in the light that I was being dishonest. While it is true (as I maintained in the previous letter) that I always keep one (1) clean cup behind my monitor and that none of the other cups or misc. trash you graciously placed on my desk were in any sense of the word "mine", in good faith and with the sense of maintaining full disclosure I have a confession. While in this particular situation and almost all others in general it is a fact that I only keep a single drinking vessel, there are occasions when the mood strikes me that I feel oddly compelled to have "dualies". That is, I enjoy dual-wielding cups for twice the liquid satisfaction potential. There is something about double fisting cafeteria beverage cups that makes me feel alive. I sometimes even mix and match what is in each cup to increase the exhilaration - coke and water, coke and fanta, fanta and root beer, when I bring a cup to my lips what flavor am I going to get? I love it. I make no apologies either, if the world judges me as a savage I cannot argue. However, on those rare occasions that this fancy strikes me, I occasionally have two (2) cups - which while one cup always makes it into the trash at the end of the night, it might make me seem like a liar given my previous insinuation that I always and only have one single cup in the office. I hope this resolves any issues that may have sprouted by this misunderstanding and misstep on my part.
Sincerely and with best wishes,
Eric Drewes
a trip to easton
Long story short - OD, Misty, Kaylie and I went to Easton to see a movie. The girls wanted to see "27 Dresses" (boring) so Josh and I went and saw Rambo. It was a "good" movie - if you like a lot of mindless violence. Anyways, we got out of the theater and called Misty to ask her where they were and she said "we haven't seen a movie yet". Well with 2 hours more to burn we snuck into Juno and sat through the previews, and then all of a sudden it started: Alvin and the Chipmonks! What the hell? Anyways, they had threaded the wrong movie and the manager came in and told us they couldn't show Juno but that we could go to a different movie if we wanted and if we brought our ticket up we'd get 2 free passes for another time. Josh and I were a little bummed cause we snuck in and didn't have tickets for the free passes but as we were walking out there was a guy handing out passes to everyone.
In summary: We snuck into Juno and ended up getting two free passes and snuck into something else. 4 movies for the price of 1!
An Introduction
I am eric. I once read that online predators don't capitalize their victim's names in chats with them so as to degrade them and make them feel inferior. For that same reason I don't capitalize my name, I am attempting to beat my ego into submission.