beep
beep
beep
beep
Don't journey off too far captain
beep
beep
no place for me to go
beep
beep
-end transmission

hmmmm.....!
*crawls through the storage shaft of the ship*
whats this?
glass..?
*looks inside*
a girl
*taps glass*
HEY wake up..!
stupid sleeping girls, all they do is sleep, maybe shes dead
OH
cryogenic chamber.
*pushes BIG RED BUTTON*
*hiss of steam comes out, door opens*
"hi!" (girls words are in pink for the obvious reason)
hi.... im the captain.  see, here's my hat
"WELL I'M THE PRINCESS!! ...here's my crown"  *reaches for something and places it on her head*
er, thats not a crown, thats a titanium hyper space manifold pipe connector
"IT IS A CROWN, look at the jewels..."
*loud groan from the crew*
 
 
 
 

what crew?
 
 
 
 

*10 days later*

"00000*&#@($@ weeeeeeeeeeee"

hmm, The space cadet girl has gone AWOL,

"no i havent!"

"my finger itches..." *she gnaws on her finger*

where's my hat?

*sigh*

*groan from the crew*

looks like another long night...

um..
what about the stars?
<shrug> i dunno
then shut up

ok.

so...
how are you?
you just asked me that.
that was 18 monthes ago
yeah well, not much has changed, has it?

hey man, i thought you were dead
nope, i wasn't
so i can tell
fuck you
whats that about?
nothing
oh yeah??
yep
ok

is this enjoyable? are you entertained? i certainly am not
if i'm bored writing, you MUST be bored reading, stop reading, stop reading
STOP READING

there is nothing of value here.
seriously.
i'm not trying to say that for the artistic value, by being coi (the fish? how the fuck do you spell coi, oh, coy) about the inherent value in this useless bit of writing.
it is just me
alone
in space
writing cause i have nothing else to do

deep in the secret chambers of this wonder, we found some marshmellows.
why were they there?
well, that is simple, we know the effects of a vacuum on marshmellows, we've seen it on earth.
but one of the nihilists here thought it'd be funny to throw a hole bag of marshmellows into space.
hehe.  well.  he's dead, so we're not doing that now.  instead, we're trying something new:

why are we always losing crew members????????????

this
is
frusterating.

night night everyone
sweet dreams

so that was that.

The captain is dead.
thats right, my friends, he is dead.  and that can only mean one thing:
there is a murderer on board the ship.

first order comes first, we checked the body, it was very cold, very hard.

who would have commited this horrible crime?  Ours was a crew of 3.

Was.
now with the murder of the captain it's down to 2, or one, maybe.

*flashback*
"DON'T OPEN THE AIR LOCK YOU'LL BE SUCKED OUT"
<opens airlock gets sucked out>
*fade back*

yes, indeed, there is only one left, and thus i must start the investigation.  I checked all the rooms of the pod, both were empty of clues.
Next was autopsy.  I'm not a doctor (am i?) so i left it up to him.  the results were negative, it looks as though his head was cut clean off.

Whoever did this horrible horrible crime thought it was funny to put the head back on the corpse with glue and the last storage of bubble gum.  Bastard.

this is a tough investigation
i have decided to question the crew.
they wouldn't speak up, even the small one who usually squeels.
the answer became abundtantly obvious:

After much investigation, we've come to the consensus, it was a suicide.  CASE CLOSED.

ohoy matey's!
space madness captain ereec reporting for duty
-the madness is upon us.
repeat last message engineer
-the madness sir, it's upon us.
very well, speed to ramming velocity.
-but sir
what?
-but sir, the ship, if we go to ram speed, there will be nothing left of it.
what exactly would we be ramming anyways?
-captain, you relize this space capsul has no propulsion device, right?
-also, captain, you realize you're just talking to yourself
but engineer, what about you? i'm talking to you aren't i?
-you are, but i'm just in your head.
oh.
-sorry.
but i can still talk to you right?
-of course captain, it's alright, i'll always be here..

weeeeeeeeeeeee!

tick
tock
ticktock
ticktockticktock
ticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktock
ticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktock
ticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktock
ticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktock
ticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktock
ticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktock
ticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktock
ticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktock
ticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktockticktock
*ding*
is it ready?

running away, spinning away
am i running away or am i saving the day

beep.
this is captain eric speaking, is anyone there.
beep.
beep.
beep.
beep.
beep.
Computer?
<yes?>
is anyone is range of the comunications array?
<scanning....>
<Captain, space cadet Nicole online>
Connect with her pleace, computer.
beep
beep
Hello, nicole, i am the captain.
beep
beep
hail to the captain
beep
I have the hat, i am the captain.
beep
-end transmission

me and mad dog (space madness co-pilot of the evening) have taken a break from the rec room.
why did we?
because I put a stogey in a vantriliquist doll of groucho marx's mouth and it caused the mirror to fall on me!  my hand is cut a little, the mirror didn't break though? why? because the will of god.  hhehoahoahewoheaoehohaheheoa
We thought maybe groucho did it, because most vantriliquist dolls hate hoomans.  but it's groucho, come on!! he's our friend.
 

We told Nicole about us being space men in space capsels, and we asked her if she was a space monkey too, she said "i can't tell you because my manager says i can't"  we asked "manager?"  she said "the manager is the person who lives inside me and keeps me from doing crazy things."

I wonder if thats like the captain of our space ship?? he's dead.
<pokes captain in eye>
yeup, still dead.

i wonder if my manager inside me is dead too? maybe thats the problem?  it'll be ok when i'm back on earth, right? right?
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
anyone out there?
oh, it's just you.